Looks like I got caught not sticking with the program. I was going to share more and more about living a healthy life and protecting ourselves from the ubiquitous "bad days" and then I just disappeared on you! So sorry, so sorry. I've been doing field research. You know...doing life, running into bad days and mowing them down, slogging through minefields of bad days and coming out alive and well. I did this for you, so you won't have to wander through a bad day without a map. That's how much I care! In fact, I just wallowed in three days of ick so that I could share it with you here and tell you what I learned.
Here's a basic primer on bad days:
1.) Bad days happen. They can happen when we're tired or sick or overwhelmed. They can happen when the toilet overflows on the same day we're throwing a dinner party. They can happen when we're faced with our limitations, whether they be financial, physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual...whatever. They happen when bad people do bad things and no one can make the bad people stop.
They happen when we forget who we are, and they most definitely happen when we forget to keep loving ourselves.
2.) Bad days don't always start out bad and there isn't always a triggering event, though usually we can find at least one event on which to blame our bad day. It's not just that it was a bad hair day. It's that it was a "bad hair, speeding ticket, sneezed in the boss's coffee, forgot my phone and was expecting an important call" day. One of those things will have pushed the whole day over the edge. Or it may be that argument you had with your teenager during lunch that sticks with you the rest of the day
and throws you off your game. Regardless of how many hours of "bad day" you endure, it still sucks.
3.) Bad days are emotional in nature. And by "emotional", I'm referring to emotions that tend to reside on the energy-zapping side of the spectrum. Fear, rage, sadness, hopelessness, apathy and depression are all invited to the party. They like to invite self-doubt, anxiety and confusion along as well. All in all, this is not a party you want to stay at for long, if at all. The thing is, when we're rubbing elbows with these guys, we forget about things like inspiration and confidence. We scoff at doddy old hope and her frumpy brother, gratefulness. We're too tired and mad or sad for that stuff. C'mon...! I just want to cocoon here in my dark, safe house.
4.) Bad days generally demand that we fill the emptiness with something. Mindlessly binging on food (especially all the junk you generally try to avoid in the name of health), TV, retail therapy, media, games, sleep, drinking (or whatever your habit may be) seems to be just the ticket to soothe a troubled soul. Yeah, no. It doesn't really help, and some things will make for big-time regret later. Know your poison and "think through the drink".
5.) Bad days are not the same thing as "going through a rough time". Bad things happen in our lives. Horrible, bad things that knock us flat and steal our breath and change our lives forever in some way. Those times are not the "bad days" to which I refer here, though we can certainly suffer those bad days during rough times. But we can also go through difficult times without falling into that place that keeps us from moving forward with hope. Bad days saturate us with apathy, bitterness and self-loathing, making the thought of a brighter time look like a pointless joke. We can't afford bad days when we're going through a rough time and I think that most of us instinctively know that. A bad day during a rough time can turn into Hotel California.
6.) Sometimes, giving in to a bad day is the best way to get through it. Think of it as having a type of 24-hour flu. Say "Okay, my cat peed in my purse, my hair looks like it was painted on with a rake, I am running on 3 hours of sleep, I got a speeding ticket, my computer just died, I forgot to wear deodorant... Today sucks and now I have to take care of myself as though I were a tiny, fragile infant." Then go about the rest of the day knowing you are feeling off-balance. Delegate whatever you can, postpone anything that isn't urgent, tell someone loving that you're having a bad day, let yourself get through it. If you have a bad day box, now's the time to open it up.
So how can we circumvent a bad day?
As soon as we start feeling joy or happiness or inner peace, our bad day loses its grip on us. It's like letting sunlight into a den of Vampires. POOF!
Ha! Not so bitey now, are you Count Bogey! So why not seek out ways to feel happy when we feel our bad day begin? Sometimes we just don't have the right map. When we feel defeated, all roads lead to despair.
What can we do about it? It may seem counter-intuitive when we're basking in the doldrums (because let's admit it, it sometimes feels
right to feel bad), but there are
three simple things that help almost immediately:
- Start counting your blessings
- Get moving (exercise, cleaning house, gardening, etc.)
- Help someone else
Bad days cannot bear to be filled with gratitude, health or empowerment and they will burst like a flimsy bubble! But in the event that you can't even muster these things, or new bad day elements seem to crop up, one after the other, know this truth:
7.) Bad days end when you put your pajamas on. That's just a fact.
So if you're having a bad day, you know what to do. You know how to survive it. You know how to "enjoy" it. You even know how to end it! I hope your days are sunny and strong and filled with too many good things to ever need this guide. But go buy yourself a nice pair of pajamas, just to have on hand.
