A Thank You Note to My Brain

Brains are incredible and we take them for granted. There is a symptom called Anosognosia that is common with most dementias, other brain diseases, and serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bi-polar disease. It is composed of three Greek words and simply means “unaware of disease”. It is characterized by a person’s lack of awareness that they are ill in any way and a lack of insight into their limitations, cognitive and/or physical. People surrounding the person with the disease generally feel that the person with the disease is lying or “in denial”. The truth is, though, that their frontal and parietal lobes are affected in a way that doesn’t allow them to update their self-image.

Imagine, for instance, getting a crazy haircut, then doing something mundane and usual with your day. The next time you look in the mirror you might be taken off guard at your reflection if you’d forgotten you’d changed your look so drastically, but then your brain would automatically update your self-image without you having to consciously do anything. But if your brain was suffering from a specific disease in a specific way to cause Anosognosia, you would be shocked each time you saw your crazy hairdo. If you were also suffering short-term memory loss, you may even begin to believe that someone was maliciously cutting your hair over and over again while you slept. You would be unable to accept that change as being part of who you were the last time your brain was able to give you healthy input about yourself.We, with healthy brains, are lucky to go about our day and not have to bother tending to things like updating our self-image after haircuts or broken noses or falling prey to scams or such things.

Last night I had a dream wherein a beautiful and successful friend of mine was advised to open a program and adjust her own self-image so that she was able to be less perfectionistic because her perfectionism was making her sick and causing a lot of distress to those around her. It was a program that looked a lot like a photo editing program where you could dial back the percentage of “fear of failure” and “insecurity”, and increase the level of “laissez faire”, “unfiltered happiness”, and “self-acceptance”. When I awoke, I was transfixed by the idea that we might change our behavior by deciding to “alter” our own self-images. Then I remember being on a few different dates with a guy who always managed to drive into a crowded parking lot and find a parking spot opening up near the door. He’d drive right up to the front of the lot and I’d think “There’s no way we’re getting a parking spot so close to the entrance!” Yet lo, and behold, someone would pull out and we’d pull in. It was crazy! “You’re a lucky guy with good parking karma,” I told him. He replied “Yep, I’m a lucky person!” From that moment, I decided I wanted to be a lucky person, too, so I adjusted my self-image to include “lucky”.

And I have been lucky! There are things, of course, devastating things that have happened in my life  - as there are in every life - and I have dealt with despair over them, but through each storm I have held onto the idea that I am intrinsically blessed and lucky and it has kept me resilient and strong. Now I wonder what other adjustments I can make in the “self-image editing program” that will keep me sane and safe and joyful and loving through the lessons sure to crop up throughout the rest of my life. As I mentioned in the very first sentence, brains are incredible. Besides helping us get through every day breathing and walking and chewing and talking, dreams are evidence of that. I believe last night’s dream was a reminder from my brain that I have the power to choose what I believe about myself and how to conduct my life. Thanks, Brain! Good reminder! I needed that!

The Morning Letter

Every morning I go outside with my coffee and my cats and we sit at my back patio table where I write a letter to God. It's my time to give thanks and ask questions and make requests and confess fears and put it all out on the table. I write without editing, without choosing the right words, without even dotting the "i"s. I just pour stuff onto the page. My handwriting can be so atrocious that I should have become a doctor.


Each letter starts out the same way. "Dear God, Thank you..." Usually I have loads of specific things for which I give thanks. Some days, though, I can only start by writing "Thank you, thank you, thank you." and leaving it at that. On those days it's either that I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and the blessings are too numerous to count, or because I can't think of a single thing for which to be grateful. On those days, when life - even early morning life - seems dour and pointless and bleak, I dutifully write my thank you's and follow them with my questions and pleas and worries and fears demands and as I write, I begin to notice things. As I look up to contemplate my next gripe, I laugh out loud with delight at seeing a cloud in the shape of a hamburger, or a collection of weedy flowers forming the most perfect and beautiful bouquet. When I take a sip of coffee I'm delighted to find it still warm and awesome and deliciously bitter. I hear Tippy meow his kitten-sounding meow and Gray meow his robotic, creaky meow - both of which I just flat out love.

As I pour out discouragement and sadness and grief, my eyes and ears clear and my heart opens enough to notice and enjoy the blessings. They were there all along. They're there whenever I really look for them. Sometimes it's hard to do. Sometimes it feels too good to be cynical and angry. But if I'm really honest with myself, no matter that heavy, tricky, icky things are scattered through my life and I have no power to change some of those things, there are still beautiful blessings weaving their way though it all and coloring my universe if I only bother to acknowledge them. Today I give thanks for being able to wake up and count my blessings. I give thanks for being able to give thanks.

7 Things You Should Know About Bad Days: A Field Guide

Looks like I got caught not sticking with the program. I was going to share more and more about living a healthy life and protecting ourselves from the ubiquitous "bad days" and then I just disappeared on you! So sorry, so sorry. I've been doing field research. You know...doing life, running into bad days and mowing them down, slogging through minefields of bad days and coming out alive and well. I did this for you, so you won't have to wander through a bad day without a map. That's how much I care! In fact, I just wallowed in three days of ick so that I could share it with you here and tell you what I learned.

Here's a basic primer on bad days:

1.) Bad days happen. They can happen when we're tired or sick or overwhelmed. They can happen when the toilet overflows on the same day we're throwing a dinner party. They can happen when we're faced with our limitations, whether they be financial, physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual...whatever. They happen when bad people do bad things and no one can make the bad people stop. They happen when we forget who we are, and they most definitely happen when we forget to keep loving ourselves.

2.) Bad days don't always start out bad and there isn't always a triggering event, though usually we can find at least one event on which to blame our bad day. It's not just that it was a bad hair day. It's that it was a "bad hair, speeding ticket, sneezed in the boss's coffee, forgot my phone and was expecting an important call" day. One of those things will have pushed the whole day over the edge. Or it may be that argument you had with your teenager during lunch that sticks with you the rest of the day and throws you off your game. Regardless of how many hours of "bad day" you endure, it still sucks.

3.) Bad days are emotional in nature. And by "emotional", I'm referring to emotions that tend to reside on the energy-zapping side of the spectrum. Fear, rage, sadness, hopelessness, apathy and depression are all invited to the party. They like to invite self-doubt, anxiety and confusion along as well. All in all, this is not a party you want to stay at for long, if at all. The thing is, when we're rubbing elbows with these guys, we forget about things like inspiration and confidence. We scoff at doddy old hope and her frumpy brother, gratefulness. We're too tired and mad or sad for that stuff. C'mon...! I just want to cocoon here in my dark, safe house.

4.) Bad days generally demand that we fill the emptiness with something. Mindlessly binging on food (especially all the junk you generally try to avoid in the name of health), TV, retail therapy, media, games, sleep, drinking (or whatever your habit may be) seems to be just the ticket to soothe a troubled soul. Yeah, no. It doesn't really help, and some things will make for big-time regret later. Know your poison and "think through the drink".

5.) Bad days are not the same thing as "going through a rough time". Bad things happen in our lives. Horrible, bad things that knock us flat and steal our breath and change our lives forever in some way. Those times are not the "bad days" to which I refer here, though we can certainly suffer those bad days during rough times. But we can also go through difficult times without falling into that place that keeps us from moving forward with hope. Bad days saturate us with apathy, bitterness and self-loathing, making the thought of a brighter time look like a pointless joke. We can't afford bad days when we're going through a rough time and I think that most of us instinctively know that. A bad day during a rough time can turn into Hotel California.

6.) Sometimes, giving in to a bad day is the best way to get through it. Think of it as having a type of 24-hour flu. Say "Okay, my cat peed in my purse, my hair looks like it was painted on with a rake, I am running on 3 hours of sleep, I got a speeding ticket, my computer just died, I forgot to wear deodorant... Today sucks and now I have to take care of myself as though I were a tiny, fragile infant." Then go about the rest of the day knowing you are feeling off-balance. Delegate whatever you can, postpone anything that isn't urgent, tell someone loving that you're having a bad day, let yourself get through it. If you have a bad day box, now's the time to open it up.

So how can we circumvent a bad day? As soon as we start feeling joy or happiness or inner peace, our bad day loses its grip on us. It's like letting sunlight into a den of Vampires. POOF! Ha! Not so bitey now, are you Count Bogey! So why not seek out ways to feel happy when we feel our bad day begin? Sometimes we just don't have the right map. When we feel defeated, all roads lead to despair.

What can we do about it? It may seem counter-intuitive when we're basking in the doldrums (because let's admit it, it sometimes feels right to feel bad), but there are three simple things that help almost immediately:

• Start counting your blessings
• Get moving (exercise, cleaning house, gardening, etc.)
• Help someone else

Bad days cannot bear to be filled with gratitude, health or empowerment and they will burst like a flimsy bubble! But in the event that you can't even muster these things, or new bad day elements seem to crop up, one after the other, know this truth:

7.) Bad days end when you put your pajamas on. That's just a fact. 

So if you're having a bad day, you know what to do. You know how to survive it. You know how to "enjoy" it. You even know how to end it! I hope your days are sunny and strong and filled with too many good things to ever need this guide. But go buy yourself a nice pair of pajamas, just to have on hand. 

10 COMPONENTS FOR A HEALTHY DAY

Wowza. Holy Smokes. So sorry to leave you hanging like that! I've been thinking about you and trying to get back here with something important to say, but a few big rocks were thrown into my life and I had to figure out how to handle them (I'm still figuring them out). I've made allusions to them before now, and I suspected they were coming, but still... Anyhow, I will tell you this. If I hadn't started a Healthy Day routine, I believe I'd be climbing out of a pit of depression right now. And though a few days could have been classified as "bad" - or maybe just "not so great", I never had to resort to opening my Bad Day Box. It was kind of nice knowing it was there, but each time I checked in with myself I found that I was doing okay. Pretty good, huh? All that self-care is really paying off.

Today, instead of a photo of the contents of the Bad Day Box, I will share a little checklist of things I try to incorporate into every day. I've turned this into a Word Document with space for filling in specifics wherever I see fit - particularly the stressful things that need tending. I think we can all agree that it's satisfying to check accomplishments off a to-do list. Very empowering. Here's the list:

10 COMPONENTS FOR A HEALTHY DAY

1. Eat healthy food and do so while in a healthy frame of mind (Good energy out; good energy in)
2. Drink lots of water
3. Exercise (I try to plan my workout the night before so it's not left to chance)
4. Get fresh air and sunshine
5. Take care of things that cause stress (make those phone calls, clean out that closet)
6. Be grateful and excited (this is huge!)
7. Feed your spirit and mind (read, journal, pray, meditate, practice affirmations)
8. Practice self-care and self-celebration (take health and beauty measures and let your best self shine)
9. Find time to socialize (connect with others; not just on Facebook)
10. Live the life you have imagined by being the person you want to be!

Today my planned workout consists of walking 4 miles before raking and weeding my front yard, although we'll see how far I get with the raking since I'm currently suffering from costochondritis (inflamed cartilage of the rib cage) on my right side. It's like having tendonitis in your chest, so I'll try to figure out if it would be better to clean up my yard (and so avoid the guilt and shame I feel whenever I look outside) or give my ribs another couple of weeks to heal. Maybe there's even a blessing on the way in the form of an able bodied person who loves to rake and can't wait to help me out!

Off to live my healthy, happy, powerful day. Wishing you the same. 

XOXO

Immunity to Bad Days? Really?

Big changes are afoot in my life. Not very happy ones. Changes that are forcing me to make some difficult and scary decisions. Changes that make me very sad and very mad and then very sad again. Sometimes life is icky and it's hard to stay in a place of faith. I'm having a hard time with that now. I have to choose faith and courage and hope about 25 times a day just to keep moving forward.

All I can say is that I am so glad to have started exploring the virtue of health when all these potential changes and difficulties popped up. I'd already implemented a schedule that practiced healthy habits, so I had a bit of a head start. I hadn't quite gotten around to creating alternate plans for different types of days (see prior post), but I have started to build a Bad Day Box for those days when adulthood is too much to handle and simply crawling out of bed and getting dressed takes Olympian skill and strength.

With all this extra stress that's popped up, I have to tell you that, over all, I'm doing just fine. The evidence is there in the fact that I have only started to build my Bay Day Box and have not yet tested it out. That's because I haven't yet had anything that I want to count as a bad day! I'm staying in my healthy practices and they're keeping me strong enough to not only crawl out of bed and get dressed, but pray, meditate, exercise, make healthy food choices, work on work things, work on other things that need to be done (including the things that deal with these incredibly stressful changes), drink plenty of water, tend to household things, socialize when possible, and get to bed on time!!! That's incredible to me and I am incredibly grateful. 

Just last month, under these heavy circumstances, I probably would have had to crawl out of bed, all the way to the closet in my office, so I could feebly pry the lid off the Bad Day Box to get to the the special, cozy Bad Day pajamas inside. It would have taken ages, with long rests and a few groans, to get out of my regular pajamas and into the special ones. I would have had to apply great swaths of the soothing scented oil I made to my wrists and the backs of my hands so that I could inhale the bright, but relaxing, scent of orange, bergamot and neroli, whenever I liked. 

I would have had to choose either the trashy magazine or one of the juicy novels I bought at Goodwill to read while I ate one of my not-so-healthy Bad Day treats, like my Trader Joe's Graham Crackers. Don't be fooled, these aren't your everyday graham crackers. These things are hearty and thick and coated in a thick layer of cinnamon sugar. You actually have to dunk these in a hot beverage or you'll break your teeth. The cracker part of these particular crackers must also be loaded with cinnamon and other things, like dark brown sugar and magic, because they taste nothing like the inside of a preschool classroom, as the regular, wimpy graham crackers do. 

Anyway, I digress... I haven't had to touch my Bad Day Box (the building of which is still in progress and in need of a Pizza Hut gift card, among other things) because practicing healthy habits builds your immunity to Bad Days. Sure there will still be days that you really don't like and days that are filled with sadness and anxiety. But the Bad Day - with a capital 'B' and a capital 'D' - just can't sneak up on you as easily when you've been paying attention to your health and really taking care of yourself. It's not as easy to be wiped flat when you value and believe in yourself. Healthy self-care is about loving and valuing and putting effort into yourself, without feeling guilty. I believe it also builds immunity to Bad Hair Days, but the jury is still out on that.

Because of how much of an impact practicing health has made on how I'm living my life in only 9 days, I have decided to spend the whole of May working on the virtue of health instead of jumping to a new virtue each week. Plus, I got behind with all the changes that are a-brewing and I have some work to do.  I probably won't be posting daily, but I'll get back here with the good stuff. In my next post I'll share an example of my healthy day and, perhaps, a photo of my Bad Day Box, along with a list of what's inside. I'll show you those Trader Joe's Graham Crackers, too.

Healthy Habit #208: When you feel too busy to pray or meditate, that's when you really need to make some time to do so. Even 5 minutes. The same goes for exercise. Schedule these things into your day however you can. You'll thank yourself for it when you feel stronger, inside and out.

Planning a Health Toolbox

Health, health, health. This is day two of figuring out how to apply the virtue of health to my life in a holistic way.

One thing is already evident. Health takes planning. Today's schedule, though I'm an hour behind, is working well for me. It'll take some fine tuning as I forgot to schedule in little things like travel time and how long it takes my hair to dry. Still, I started off with Lemon Water, prayer, a 3 1/2 mile power walk, squats, lunges, pushups and crunches, and 10 minutes worth of meditation all before I showered or had coffee. That was pure ME time. Excellent start to the day. I want to try it again tomorrow, more or less. I'll have to chart it out.

 Today wasn't an extraordinary day, save for the fact that I formally started my self-care plan. But there are so many different types of days that I anticipate coming up, and I have to have plans for those days, too. Those are the days that generally force health and self-care into the trunk while emotions and whimsy take up the wheel and drive us off a cliff. Let's face it, we all have *those* kinds of days.

There are the sad, mad, bad, too-tired days, that make us want to crawl under the covers with a lasagna and some cocoa. Those are the days when good intentions seem so flimsy and unimportant and we can't be gratified, no matter how far we sink into sloth and gluttony. There are sick days and vacation days and days off, that can easily spin out of control, like a centrifuge flinging all our planning and good habits into deep space. I'll definitely need a few plan revisions and safety devices for the emergency pop-up days; those days when you feel fine and capable but find yourself putting out unforeseen fires and rescuing projects and people, with no time or energy left for yourself. Of course I'll need plans for when I have company and plans for when I'm someone else's company; plans for how to respect my own needs and health while respecting the needs and routines of other people. And I'll need a big, giant safety mega-plan for when I forget to have faith, let fear and sadness take over, and feel like the world has crumbled under my feet. I'll need plans for all kinds of days, plus a whole box of tools for this and that.

Don't get nervous about my usage of the words "schedule" and/or "daily plan". Practicing virtues means building habits and building new habits takes effort and mindfulness and, in my case, a place on the to-do list. But I know myself well, and know that more often than not I push things to do with self-care to the end of the list where they just linger, rarely actualized. I also know that I tend to over schedule my days, not thinking about how long to devote to any one thing. So for starters, I'm drawing up daily plans with scheduled time slots. This is a project, people. Yes, it feels OCD and over-indulgent to me, too. But I want to see it through. Why not? If I walk away from this week with a handful of tools for bad days and a good start to some good habits, I'm gonna be pretty happy.

What I Need for the Health Toolbox


DAILY PLANS FOR:
Good Ordinary Days
Sad/Mad/Bad/Too-Tired Days
Sick/Injury Days
Emergency Pop-Up Days
Company Days
Out-of-Town Days
Holidays
Day-Off Days
Pit of Despair Days

SPECIFIC TOOLS TO COMBAT:
Cravings/Need for Comfort
Fear/Anxiety
Sadness/Depression
Boredom/Angst
Non-Specific Anger/Frustration
Laziness
Colds/Flu and other things that push people under the weather

SPECIFIC TOOLS TO ENCOURAGE:
Healthy Eating
Faith and Joy
Gratitude
Confidence
Socialization
Creativity
Continued Interest in Exercise
Peace

Not yet sure what any of these things will look like, though I have tiny budding ideas. My next several posts - starting tomorrow - I share some of the tools I've found and hope to create for my Health Toolbox.


Start with this article on how to fix 6 imbalances that cause you pain. That painful knee might be caused by trouble with your hip. Find out about neck, shoulder, hip, knee, ankle and back pain and see if any of these fixes help you.

And know that this is the truth:

Brainstorming About Health

I've come up with a new plan. I've scaled the list of 30 virtues that I covered last month down to a list of my 10 essential virtues and so, for the 10 weeks I will choose (at random) one of those virtues to explore. Even though a week goes by fairly quickly, I plan to pick the particular virtue apart as much as I can, to figure out what it means to me and how I can best practice it in my daily life. I plan to come up with a tool chest for each virtue. Something that will help me practice and live with the values that I hold most dear. Being that this is the first week, I'll be flying by the seat of my pants, not sure how to best proceed or what I'll end up with, but...that's part of the fun. This is exciting for me.

The virtue I drew out of my little heart-shaped box for the first week of May is HEALTH. Health. Sounds boring, really. Of course health is important, that's no big news. We talk about it and read about it and fret about it constantly. Theories about achieving optimum health abound. Many are conflicting and some are downright scary. There is always plenty of news on the health front and plenty of general knowledge and common sense practices that nobody needs to have reiterated. But this is about me. I'm building my own personal paradigm about health. This is about how I envision health, and how I plan to use the virtue of health as a constant, important tool in my walk through life. So I started by brainstorming, just to see what associations and feelings and ideas HEALTH brought up for me. With brainstorming, there are no wrong answers and things are never in the order of importance. Try this with me, if you will, just to see how you feel about health.

Here are the questions I posed for myself:
What words do you associate with health?
food, sleep, diet, water, sleep, rest, balance, exercise, muscles, fresh air, sun, socializing, happiness, joy, care, boundaries, love, connection, hygiene, beauty, stretch, peace, yoga, sweat, cleanse, detox, closure, openness, self-respect, self-love, no more shame, no fear, taking care of business, do what needs to be done, friendship, limits, schedule time for the most important things, music, meditation, prayer, spirituality, God, honoring self, saying yes, saying no, going the extra mile for myself, caring for myself, encouragement, encouraging health in others, laughter, fulfillment, purpose, acceptance, children, activity, hiking, honesty with self, discipline, ability, confidence, energy, excitement, thrive, purity, strength

What does health look like?
There is order. Health looks like true beauty; bright eyes, clear skin, toned muscles, rested countenance, peaceful spirit, quiet strength, shiny hair, open mind, self-confidence, honesty, responsibility, faith, awareness, integrity

How do you think health feels?
Health feels strong and awake and capable. Health can choose faith and starve out fear, instead. It is the glorious comfort and joy that I'm surrounded by God's light and suffused with His strength. Health gives me the confidence to seek out and allow new experiences. Health feels exciting and peaceful at the same time. Health feels sexy and beautiful and confident and capable and alive.

How does it sound to choose health?
I am worthy of the care and effort it takes to be my healthiest best.
I choose to surround myself with healthy people, opportunities and situations and turn away from/severely limit those things that do not contribute to my good health.
Living in health is living responsibly, honoring God's gifts to me of life, body, mind and spirit. 
I choose health and the things that lead me there.
The healthier I am, the more blessed, joyful and powerful I am.

What things are barriers to being your healthiest?
not enough exercise, not enough outdoor time, allowing others to influence my choices, lack of planning, lack of time management, fear, laziness, inability to prioritize, poor food choices, too much food, binging, going to sleep too late, isolating, not enough socialization, depression, anxiety, lack of discipline, disorganization, disregard of self, not drinking enough water each day, not enough sleep, too much internet time, not finishing what I start, avoidance of uninteresting or unpleasant things, lack of stamina, not enough faith in myself, 

What are things/activities/practices that could be changed or added to each day for increased health?
Make time for both prayer and meditation during the day.
Outdoor time - sun and fresh air.
One or two affirmations on which to concentrate throughout the day.
Less time spent on FB, Pinterest, etc. 
Prep meals and snacks for next day.
Drink at least 32 oz. water throughout the day. Stay hydrated!
Soothing yoga/stretching before bed (particularly hips and back!)
A better nighttime routine with earlier lights out.
At least 1 hour scheduled into each day for exercise.
Take care of pressing/difficult chores early in the day to avoid anxiety thread.

And that was yesterday's brainstorming session. Not that it's worthy of being published, but I'm collecting data for myself, so I can build my tools and habits. Today I created a Pinterest board for Health where I will pin links, memes and infographics that inspire and inform me regarding better health practices (exercise routines and videos, recipes, and meditations, studies, etc.). I also came up with a prototype of a "healthy day" schedule that I will try to stick to tomorrow. It includes time for exercise, prayer, meditation, stretching and some leisure, as well as giving me enough work time, chore time, and getting me into bed with lights out by 10:30. The lights-out time is the thing I'm worried about. I'm such a night-owl - usually getting to bed by 1:00 or later -  but it hasn't been doing me any good, because I also have trouble sleeping past 7:00. I'm going to try for 8 hours of sleep.... Can you imagine?

Tomorrow's exercise? I'll be doing a 4+ mile power walk, lunges, squats and bench pushups, all outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Then I'll come home and do this  fast core workout from fitsugar.com. It's fast and effective. I also plan on doing this yoga-based hip-stretching routine before bed. My hips are not the happiest of campers. In addition to hurting a lot, they tend to also cause me a lot of knee and back pain. 

And since there are some rather large stressors occurring in my life right now, I will work on these things as well, to keep fear at bay. Fear is a killer. 

That's it. I'll prep for tomorrow tonight and I'll let you know how it goes.