Hey Fear, I'm Breaking Up With You!

Where fear is, happiness is not. ~ Seneca

Sometimes fear just gets the better of me. And when I say "gets the better of me", I mean "moves into my brain, colors my world a bleak grey, robs me of joy, and causes me to second guess every tiny thought I have or move I make". Freaking fear. I hate it. It is the enemy. It's tricky and malignant and insidious and really, really destructive. It may wander into our lives looking helpful but, like a conman left unchecked, it will take claim of those traits we hold most dear.

Best thing to do is not let fear get the upper hand. Sure healthy fear can keep us on our toes and steer us away from all kinds of trouble, but let the wrong kind of fear in and say goodbye to independence, happiness, creativity, strength, humor...love. Fear gobbles up good stuff and leaves ugly hopelessness in its place. 

So pay attention. Fear is a shape-shifting master of disguise. Sometimes fear shows up as:

The Voice of Reason  

Goal: Force us to abort our plans for change or betterment. It loves the status quo – no matter how miserable.

Tactics: Highlights worst-case-scenarios and reminds us to seriously consider our many shortcomings before taking our next step.

Archival Librarian

Goal: Reminds us that life is filled with disappointments and traumas and suggests that the next horrible fall could be right around the corner.

Tactics: Pulls sad and tragic events from our memory files for us to peruse and places them on our pillows for dream fodder.  

Old-School Principal

Goal: Make us examine the error of our ways in enough detail so as to be able to write an essay entitled: “Mistakes I’ve Made and Why I am a Failure”.

Tactics: Shares the running tally of all our mistakes – both real and imagined – and has us write “I am a failure” on our own mental chalkboards 500 times a day.

White-Glove Inspector

Goal: Keep us tied down with all the details that matter least; make us sweat the small stuff.

Tactics: Point out everything that’s out of order, every crooked line, every un-dotted “I”, every uncrossed “t”, every speck of dust, every expectation that anyone on earth has ever had of/for us, every miniscule detail that doesn’t freaking matter in the great scheme of things so that we will end up too worried, busy, frantic and sick to live a fulfilling life.

When we let fear move in and take over it’s the biggest narcissist that ever lived. Everything is coated in fear; everything is seen from fear’s perspective. Life becomes about fear, in all its guises. Even when we think we know better than to let fear take over, fear is insidious. One morning we wake up and …there’s fear, in bed with us.

So, what now? Here’s what. Break up with fear. Write it a note saying “Sayonara, Fear! Get lost! Only come back when you’re healthy and only to warn me about REAL dangers!” (Did I mention that fear is a manipulative liar?) Tell fear to get lost. Remind fear that your Father is God and He’s gonna kick fear’s butt. Then…stop talking to fear. Turn your back on the bully that is fear. Don’t worry, if there’s a real danger, fear will get your attention, just don’t hand over the keys to your house. No, sirree. There are way better friends to spend time with. Their names are Trust, Faith, Love, Joy, Purpose, Capability, Hope and Courage! Wisdom and Mindfulness are buddies great buds, too. Beauty and Gratefulness rock!

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. ~ Renceray Brown

 It’s time to start concentrating on things other than fear. Today I will focus on how safe I am, how well-loved I am, how capable I am. I will seek joy and express myself creatively. I will feed my faith. I will do my best to stay in the moment. I will look for beauty wherever I go and be grateful for all I have, all that I am, all that I experience.

 Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself. ~ Samuel Butler 

And when fear starts tapping at the windows, I will shoot it with bullets of faith and trust and wisdom and love. All of those things stop fear in its tracks. And all of those things are right there, within us, waiting to be noticed, waiting to be welcomed and developed. So...You're outa here, fear! I've got better things to do with my life than let you take over.

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. ~ Nelson Mandela

  

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear. ~ Gandhi

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. ~ Dale Carnegie

Listen to what you know, instead of what you fear. ~ Richard Bach