Uniqueness
as a virtue has an awful lot to do with loving and respecting yourself. It has
to do with insight and acceptance and self-knowledge. You might have to be
brave to be the person you are instead of apologizing, hiding or pretending to
be someone you’re not. I know this well. I think we all do. Imagine what each
of us would feel about ourselves if we hadn't been bombarded since birth by people
(even people who love us), product hawkers, and the media telling us what and
who would should be and why we don’t/can’t/never will measure
up. Imagine who we would have allowed ourselves to become if our unique
differences and traits hadn't been forced into hiding, both by others and by
our own insecurities and self-loathing.
Today, day
four of the April Project, I want to focus on recognizing and loving the parts
of myself and my story that make me unique. Here’s how:
PRACTICING THE
VIRTUE OF UNIQUENESS
Step One: Let go of any shame I have surrounding my uniqueness.
Stop hating yourself for everything you aren't. Start loving yourself for everything that you are. ~ Unknown
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known. ~ Chuck Palahiniuk
I'm ready to get rid of
shame; to just let it go. I'm ready to let go of the shame I carry for others, too. I have
generations of shame behind me. Shame over heritage. Shame over poverty. Shame
over race. My shame is an illusion that turned into a bad habit. I've been
carrying shame about things over which I have no control. God is my creator and
made me perfectly. I can let go of this unwanted inheritance of feeling
unworthy, bad or defective. Because we are not alike, nor are we exactly like
others, does not make us valueless. In fact, our uniqueness makes us irreplaceable.
Step Two: Embrace what makes me me.
You have no need to travel anywhere – journey within yourself. Enter a mine of rubies and bathe in the splendor of your own light. ~ Rumi
I keep a
running list of things I like about myself. I keep three ongoing lists to which
the idea is to contribute three measly things each day. One is a list of
gratefulness, one is a list of possibilities (for instance, if there were no
limits, monetarily, physically, practically, etc., what would I like to
experience or achieve?), and one is a list of things that I like about myself.
I will admit that I don’t add to it most days. But today I will fill a page.
Today I celebrate the things that make me me.
Step Three: Stop wishing away my differences; stop putting myself down.
It has bothered me all my life that I do not paint like everybody else. ~ Henri Matisse
I will stop
apologizing for being who I am and stop putting myself down to others. I will counteract
my self-deprecating comments and thoughts with truth and love. So instead of “Ugh.
I’m such a crybaby. Sorry.” I’ll say, “I’m
really sad right now, that’s why I’m crying. Do you have a tissue?” And instead of “I swear I am the most
disorganized person on the planet! If
you want something lost, just give it to me.” I’ll say, “Give me a second to
find that. I’ve been doing a ton of creative work lately and must have set it
aside.” And instead of, “Hey, there…Don’t mind my fatness! I just recently gained all this weight!” I’ll say, “Hi! It’s
great to see you! How've you been?"
Step Four: Allow and admire unique traits in others.
Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel. ~ G. K. Chesterton
I will allow
others to be their unique selves; not bothering to covet the traits that I don't have and can't achieve, and not devaluing them as people for having traits I that rub me the wrong way. I’ll let go of any expectations that they
think, feel, or do the way I do. I will honor and respect the way God made them and,
if possible, help them celebrate their unique gifts.
Step Five: Work at loving, accepting and celebrating myself.
Become who you are. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Find out who you are and do it on purpose. ~ Dolly Parton
I will share
and celebrate my uniqueness whenever I can. I will do so with grace, integrity,
love, respect, courage and joy. I understand and accept that in being true to
myself I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, just as they may not be mine, but as
long as neither of us are causing harm, we’re okay.
So if you
drop by unannounced, you might hear me singing a show tune at the top of my
lungs and find that I've started yet another creative project without
completing the one before. You might find me wearing a tennis skirt with a
camisole and gardening shoes while I wash my windows. You might be just in time to sample 4
different soups that I’m making all at the same time because it’s a “cooking
day” for me. You may find me writing a letter to God. With my heart. Or I might be doing conventionally productive
things in conventional ways, although, don’t count on it. Just come on in and
celebrate with me and we’ll celebrate you as well. Maybe we’ll have a parade!
PRAYER
REGARDING UNIQUENESS
Dear God, Thank You for making me just the way I am. Thank You for walking me through the trials and lessons and handing out mercy and grace when I willfully stumbled around You. Help me to embrace and celebrate these blessings You have built into me and to nourish and grow all the gifts and talents You've so graciously given. In Your sweet name, Lord, Amen
UNIQUENESS
QUOTES
You are the only you God made…God made you and broke the mold. ~ Max Lucado
To be oneself, simply oneself, is so amazing and utterly unique an experience that it’s hard to convince oneself so singular a thing happens to everybody. ~ Simone de Beauvoir, Prime of Life
When you find yourself forced to blend in, do it without dissolving. ~ Constance Chuks Friday
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. ~ Oscar Wilde
I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself. ~ Rita Mae Brown
You Are the Universe, expressing itself as a human for a little while. ~ Ekhart Tolle
This is your world. Shape it or someone else will. ~ Gary Low
If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author, and every day you have the opportunity to write a new page. ~ Mark Houlahan
You can go your own way. ~ Fleetwood Mac
In the end there doesn’t have to be anyone who understands you… There just has to be someone who wants to. ~ Robert Brault
You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches. ~ Dita Von Teese
Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else. ~ Judy Garland
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. ~ Joseph Campbell
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